On the chosen day many men gathered around to compete. Men from all over The Great Kingdom with special talents or claims to fame decided to show up and try their luck.
There was Jacob, the strongest man in The Great Kingdom. “I can deadlift 1100 pounds raw and I bench 700 pounds”, says Jacob. “Surely the test will be one of strength, as that is the true measure of a man.”
” Another man cut in, his name was Jarvis. He towered over the others, casting a large shadow in his wake. “No. I am the tallest man in The Great Kingdom”, said Jarvis, “and I can assure you the test will be one of height, as that is the true measure of a man.”
Marcus, a man of medium build speaks up, “How primitive! I sir, have the highest measured IQ in The Great Kingdom. I have achieved perfect scores on several standardized tests. Surely the test will be one of intelligence, as that is the true measure of a man.”
“You’re all wrong!” says James, laughing, “I have the largest penis in The Great Kingdom. It is nearly two feet in length. The tester will surely be measuring our dicks, as that is the true measure of a man.”
“You peasants!”, says Wesley, a man dressed in a designer suit, “I own five banks and three car dealerships. I have vaults in my many homes filled with solid gold bars. I am the richest man in The Great Kingdom. Surely the test will be one of wealth, as that is the true measure of a man.”
Just then another man walks up and joins the hopefuls. He appears unimpressive. He is below average in height and dress. He is not especially good looking or well built.
“Who are you?” asks Wesley
“The Man”, says The Man, looking him in the eye confidently.
“Do you have any amazing talents?” asks Marcus
“How big is your dick?” asks James
“You don’t look like much”, says Jarvis, “Surely you’ll be no competition in whatever the test may be.”
The Man stands calmly and self-possessed with a hint of a smirk on his face, not listening to the chatter of the others.
As the other men continue to bicker while waiting for the King of Ceremonies to arrive, a young woman walks by the group. She has long, flowing hair. She has breasts of the perfect size, legs of the perfect length, and an ass with the perfect roundness and firmness. Her dress is enticing enough to inspire lust but modest enough to imply a woman of good character and class. Her walk is sexy enough to attract the eyes but humble and feminine enough to imply virtue. Her face is a composite of every beautiful woman who has ever lived. She is perfection.
Each man in the group desires her.
“She looks like she’s in a hurry” says Jacob “She looks like a bitch” says Jarvis “She looks like she’s walking towards that guy” says Marcus, “It could be her boyfriend” “She looks like a slut, she’s not that hot”, says James “She looks like she’s enjoying the music on her iPod and doesn’t want to be bothered” says Wesley “She looks like she’s just my type” says The Man
The Man walks over to her and signals for her to take her headphones off. He starts talking to her and she responds pleasantly, as the perfect woman would. The other men hover intently, listenting to him speak, trying to assess his game. After they talk for a while, The Man asks for her phone number. Sorry, she says in the most polite and sweet way you’ve ever heard, but she has a boyfriend and she is actually in a hurry to see him. She hurries off.
The men all laugh in unison at The Man’s failure.
“Your muscles weren’t big enough for her” says Jacob “You’re too short for her” says Jarvis “You were too stupid for her” says Marcus “Your dick wasn’t big enough for her” says James “You’re not rich enough for a girl like that” says Wesley
The Man does not respond, his calm demeanor unaffected. Its almost as if he doesn’t hear the other men at all. He now has a visible smirk.
The King of Ceremonies appears, seemingly out of nowhere. He is even more grand and powerful than anyone had pictured. The men all pay their respects...