Older sister is putting increased pressure on me to go back to college in September

alien

Chad
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The employee assistance program at her work (they also served my last company as well) gave her 2 workplace stress books, a relaxation and stress reduction book and a relaxation audio CD. For free (she must have told them about my office meltdown for them to give me all this stuff for free). She had my dad (who was over at her place) give me the books and CD yesterday.

And she pointed out that I need to enroll in courses quick before the September start. She suggested I specialize in a particular IT field that is currently experiencing a labour shortage. I looked up the field on Wikipedia and had no idea what the fuck I was reading. I lost interest. If I'm not interested in the program, why should I apply for it just because there's a labour shortage? My sister made me promise that I'd research the field in more in depth and give it a fair chance.

And she made sure to stress that if I take any more time off from work or education, employers are going to look at my resume and go WTF?! at the work history gap (I've been unemployed since April)

At this point, I really don't give a fuck.

Why should I force myself to study and work in a job that I'll probably hate just to acquire the money necessary to prolong my life when I feel little to no joy in life, feel suicidal anyway and want to visit Gandy?

Am I missing something? Less than 2% of men commit suicide (suicide cases probably get under-reported by Canadian police though). What's the difference between me and the 98%? Why don't men commit suicide more often? Am I missing the point of life? Am I missing some sort of hidden joy in life? I don't understand why people are willing to cuck themselves and live in wage slave misery just to prolong their lives?

I'm almost 30 years old. It seems like the older I get, the less enjoyment I get out of what passes for "entertainment" these days (video games, movies, tv shows, "going out", etc.) The more pointless life feels. Why do I feel so different from the 98% who don't kill themselves? I read a book on the sorry state of the American economy recently. And I've been reading a lot about the Greek Crisis (I might actually buy an ebook on it because the sample I read of one book was interesting). And watching a lot of Peter Schiff on youtube lately (he's a con artist but he's red-pilled about the impending financial crisis that is going to hit North America and the EU).
 

purps drank

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Legit you should stop sponging off of those that care about you and get your autistm under control. Study something you're passionate about but also has the possibility of a job.
 
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