Gandharva

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My Life has been an endless hell since birth.My parents are evil devils who should have been gassed for even wanting to produce children(Nature tried to kill my workhorse nigger twice lol)but medicine won in the end.

It must get better.I dont deserve all this.I deserve happiness,beauty and money.I deserve it.its mine.But our paradigm gives it to people that dont deserve it and quiet frankly didnt earn it thru blood and sweat and suffering.

I will  on July 9 2018,if my Life has not become better to my standards,inject myself with pet neutering chemicals and Get high on MDMA and coke and go on a  killing spree of my enemies and those that have wronged me or prevented me from progress.Those that have made fun of me.Those that have humiliated me.those that have denied me my salvation.


I am not scared of death and Im not scared of Hell.You  can only be scared of something you dont know & have been totally intimate with.if suffering is my fate,then let it be.But I will get revenge.I will rise as Damocles to avenge those symbols and entities who have wronged me since birth.[video=youtube][hr]
My Mental Hell is even worse than my physichal Hell.That must end too.atleast by July 8 2016.I should be sufficientely mentally Happy and wellrounded.
 

IcedEarth

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the sad part of it is that irl no one cares about you no matter wtf you do or how you life is
 

Gandharva

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IcedEarth said:
the sad part of it is that irl no one cares about you no matter wtf you do or how you life is
its not about them.its symbolic.a fuck you to the Demiurge/Paradigm for trying that hard to win.I am Theos  .my own god.I wont let Nature/Existance decide my fate.thats for cowards.how Dare Nature even challenge me.

I cant literally kill or make suffer those that directely made me suffer,but I can attack them symbolically by going after those that are similar or have similar values and beliefs.Niggers(especiaally women),Protestant Christians,Women are all on my list of targets as those are the worst offenders.

Eastasian women,Nordic women,Jews and turkish men I consider my Friends.they have been nothing but good to me in my own life.I wont target them.
 

Gandharva

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inhibition is a result of vested interest or hope.youre inhibited because you  have hope or think inaction will be a better course than action.when there is 0 hope anymore there is no inhibition.
[hr]
I am beautiful.I am just.I am moral.I am good.I am righteous.I am divinity.I am all.
 

TheTrews

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[font=Roboto-Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, HelveticaNeue, sans-serif-light, Arial, sans-serif]Blepharoplasty will change your luck.[/font]
 

Gandharva

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bleph is a tip of a huge fucking iceberg.its nothing.my suffering caused by my phyischal deficits are minor in comparison to the mental anguish I suffer on such  minutely basis due to my past experiences wich caused my mental sicknesses.I am innocent.I am pure.  I wont kill my mother because the rift between us is entirely  a cause of circumstances brought my the hand that  wants me dead.I also dont believe you can kill your mother and be righteous no matter what she did to you.although her biggest crime was trying to give birth to me when I -even in her womb-tried to die numerous times instead of be alive,the doctors touted it as a miracle I lived because the pregnancy almost killed her,her tubes were not capable of producing babies and the hormones of childbirth were poisonous to her,yet I came anyway.this was not a good thing.no good came out of it.I am the devilseed of my demonic father.his seed and line must end.
its basically her chronic kidney disease that caused our rift and poverty so I dont consider her my core enemy but more a victim of circumstance-although I may be wrong and she could be a liar and I am thinking that.I dont know.I havent decided on her yet.

list of people that must die if i dont truly live as compensation :

My grandmother

Brian foster

Miss Cangelosi

the niggers of allen chapel church

protestant christians especially evangelicals

Miss dougherty

Paul Marinus Van Ewijk (my father)

and others I cant name right now

but those must die and thier blood will be my salvation like the blood of Yeshuah on the cross for his flock the people of israel  .
 

rigidity

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Gandharva said:
bleph is a tip of a huge fucking iceberg.its nothing.my suffering caused by my phyischal deficits are minor in comparison to the mental anguish I suffer on such  minutely basis due to my past experiences wich caused my mental sicknesses.I am innocent.I am pure.  I wont kill my mother because the rift between us is entirely  a cause of circumstances brought my the hand that  wants me dead.I also dont believe you can kill your mother and be righteous no matter what she did to you.although her biggest crime was trying to give birth to me when I -even in her womb-tried to die numerous times instead of be alive,the doctors touted it as a miracle I lived because the pregnancy almost killed her,her tubes were not capable of producing babies and the hormones of childbirth were poisonous to her,yet I came anyway.this was not a good thing.no good came out of it.I am the devilseed of my demonic father.his seed and line must end.
its basically her chronic kidney disease that caused our rift and poverty so I dont consider her my core enemy but more a victim of circumstance-although I may be wrong and she could be a liar and I am thinking that.I dont know.I havent decided on her yet.

list of people that must die if i dont truly live as compensation :

My grandmother

Brian foster

Miss Cangelosi

the niggers of allen chapel church

protestant christians especially evangelicals

Miss dougherty

Paul Marinus Van Ewijk (my father)

and others I cant name right now

but those must die and thier blood will be my salvation like the blood of Yeshuah on the cross for his flock the people of israel  .
Look at you being edgy!
 

Gandharva

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I am going to improve my physichal condition by blepharoplasty.Also Electrolysis and hair straightening.but thats just a minor suffering compared to my stunted emotional development and my OCD wich plagues me on a daily and lifely basis.my life must be sufficient in joy and goodness to counteract the OCD and mind fog I  suffer ona  daily basis and will suffer for the rest of my life.my OCD isnt mild,its type 3.its where you hear voices that make yout hreaten your own life,Ive had to walk back and forth in rooms up to 100 times before touching a certain place just right or I will go into a false realm and reality.Ive had to lock myself up in my freezer in the basement as a kid.Im tired of the assignments.


Im tired of the punishments it gives me.Im tired of being cursed and vexed by people on the street.Im tired of the dark energy that eminates from people that makes me feel physichal pain.

my OCD isnt kids stuff washing your hands 3 times,its serious shit you cant imagine and its been my life since birth.

you cant possibely imagine it.anyone that judges me is unrighteous.
 

rigidity

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Gandharva said:
I am going to improve my physichal condition by blepharoplasty.Also Electrolysis and hair straightening.but thats just a minor suffering compared to my stunted emotional development and my OCD wich plagues me on a daily and lifely basis.my life must be sufficient in joy and goodness to counteract the OCD and mind fog I  suffer ona  daily basis and will suffer for the rest of my life.my OCD isnt mild,its type 3.its where you hear voices that make yout hreaten your own life,Ive had to walk back and forth in rooms up to 100 times before touching a certain place just right or I will go into a false realm and reality.Ive had to lock myself up in my freezer in the basement as a kid.Im tired of the assignments.


Im tired of the punishments it gives me.Im tired of being cursed and vexed by people on the street.Im tired of the dark energy that eminates from people that makes me feel physichal pain.

my OCD isnt kids stuff washing your hands 3 times,its serious shit you cant imagine and its been my life since birth.

you cant possibely imagine it.anyone that judges me is unrighteous.
 
 

Gandharva

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TheTrews said:
What do you have against a Church in Washington DC?
the niggers there used to bully me for being white looking.I had to go there because of my evil grandmother who puts on a  facade of being a goodgoing church person,when in fact shes a devil.

she was a whore in her youth and only became religious for social status.her family are all voodoo practicioners  and freemasons not christians.
[hr]
the folks laughing at me only strengthen why humanity must die if I die.  this zero sum species doesnt deserve to live.they only should live i I live because their continued existance is only because they are tools for my further ends and desiresin an ideal world only people that I benefit or can utilize should exist.everyone else is a enemy and should not breathe the same air as my air or the same land as my gaia land.
 

TheTrews

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Gandharva said:
TheTrews said:
What do you have against a Church in Washington DC?
the niggers there used to bully me for being white looking.I had to go there because of my evil grandmother who puts on a  facade of being a goodgoing church person,when in fact shes a devil.

she was a whore in her youth and only became religious for social status.her family are all voodoo practicioners  and freemasons not christians.
[hr]
the folks laughing at me only strengthen why humanity must die if I die.  this zero sum species doesnt deserve to live.they only should live i I live because their continued existance is only because they are tools for my further ends and desiresin an ideal world only people that I benefit or can utilize should exist.everyone else is a enemy and should not breathe the same air as my air or the same land as my gaia land.
Were you in DC on vacation because I thought you were a Benelux guy.
 

rigidity

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Gandharva said:
I am going to improve my physichal condition by blepharoplasty.Also Electrolysis and hair straightening.but thats just a minor suffering compared to my stunted emotional development and my OCD wich plagues me on a daily and lifely basis.my life must be sufficient in joy and goodness to counteract the OCD and mind fog I  suffer ona  daily basis and will suffer for the rest of my life.my OCD isnt mild,its type 3.its where you hear voices that make yout hreaten your own life,Ive had to walk back and forth in rooms up to 100 times before touching a certain place just right or I will go into a false realm and reality.Ive had to lock myself up in my freezer in the basement as a kid.Im tired of the assignments.


Im tired of the punishments it gives me.Im tired of being cursed and vexed by people on the street.Im tired of the dark energy that eminates from people that makes me feel physichal pain.

my OCD isnt kids stuff washing your hands 3 times,its serious shit you cant imagine and its been my life since birth.

you cant possibely imagine it.anyone that judges me is unrighteous.
You sure you're not schizo?
 

Gandharva

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TheTrews said:
Gandharva said:
TheTrews said:
What do you have against a Church in Washington DC?
the niggers there used to bully me for being white looking.I had to go there because of my evil grandmother who puts on a  facade of being a goodgoing church person,when in fact shes a devil.

she was a whore in her youth and only became religious for social status.her family are all voodoo practicioners  and freemasons not christians.
[hr]
the folks laughing at me only strengthen why humanity must die if I die.  this zero sum species doesnt deserve to live.they only should live i I live because their continued existance is only because they are tools for my further ends and desiresin an ideal world only people that I benefit or can utilize should exist.everyone else is a enemy and should not breathe the same air as my air or the same land as my gaia land.
Were you in DC on vacation because I thought you were a Benelux guy.
I lived in Ohio from ages 6-13.
[hr]
schizo maybe but dont tell my psychologists that.they are incompetent.more like pdd nos.a mix of different symptoms than one symptom.

I do have alot of OCD problems but the anaylsists here cant diagnose me for whatever reason.