Do you run out of things to say irl?

style

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Aspies have long monologues but you can't really discuss with them since you have to make questions all the time or else the conversation halts.
 

modified

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Never. I can maintain an interesting conversation forever.

(Doesn't help if girls don't want to talk to you in the first place. It's only useful for maintaining female friendships if I choose to or being comfortable at a house party with strangers.)
 

Ascended

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modified said:
Never. I can maintain an interesting conversation forever.

(Doesn't help if girls don't want to talk to you in the first place. It's only useful for maintaining female friendships if I choose to or being comfortable at a house party with strangers.)
Any tips you know aside from the usual advice? I'm pretty decent at this but one can always improve..
 

modified

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Ascended said:
Any tips you know aside from the usual advice? I'm pretty decent at this but one can always improve..
Why should I help a tall white Chad? Go fuck yourself.

No but really, it's pretty easy I find. There are multiple levels to the technique, but the main initial pointer would be to always think of tangents. Any given topic can go in a myriad of directions. eg. If she says "it's so hot out" or "I love summer!" there are a million directions you can go. Talk about swimming in your cottage on the lake, talk about summer festivals, talk about how you could go for some ice cream right now, talk about being off school, talk about going to the beach, etc.

Look at every point in the conversation as a hub from which there are at least 3-5 spokes you can go out from. You should just keep branching endlessly from each tangent into another tangent to create an effortless flow. Follow themes.

If you (on rare occasions) exhaust one direction for the conversation, you can always switch gears and go back to another point. eg. "Yeah, but anyway like we were talking about earlier, you're right - it's so hard to find a good sushi place in town." Then you're back on that topic, and taking tangents again from it. Or you can pick up a new direction: "So how do you know ___?"

It's perhaps hard to describe, but when you do it well, it just creates a very natural flow. Mix that up with sharing thoughtful information/knowledge/insight (being generally knowledgeable or interested in a lot of subjects helps), and you have a formula for a great conversation.

A lot of this is admittedly inborn talent. You have to be creative and smart enough to see the different possibilities at each point. You need to have emotional intelligence to be able to recognize what she's into talking about and how to tell stories on each subject that will draw her in. You also need to be capable of mentally multitasking. It's effortless for me now, but when I started learning to do this a decade ago, I used to have to constantly be juggling the active conversation thread while thinking "where can this go next?" So there is a learned aspect as well.

The greatest benefit for me is that if I am in a room with complete strangers, I can have comfortable conversations with everyone in the room. If you were watching but not listening, you would think we all knew each other for a long time. It's nice at parties or in work scenarios. I'm never really uncomfortable around people because I always have something to say and a way to connect.

It doesn't really help me significantly with getting laid, though unfortunately, since my problem is girls don't want to respond to me if I cold approach them. It's no replacement for being actually attractive. And it's rare I'm ever at a party with a single girl I want to fuck. All the decent girls my age are taken.

If anyone wants any other pointers into the subject let me know.
 

Ascended

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modified said:
Ascended said:
Any tips you know aside from the usual advice? I'm pretty decent at this but one can always improve..
Why should I help a tall white Chad? Go fuck yourself.

No but really, it's pretty easy I find. There are multiple levels to the technique, but the main initial pointer would be to always think of tangents. Any given topic can go in a myriad of directions. eg. If she says "it's so hot out" or "I love summer!" there are a million directions you can go. Talk about swimming in your cottage on the lake, talk about summer festivals, talk about how you could go for some ice cream right now, talk about being off school, talk about going to the beach, etc.

Look at every point in the conversation as a hub from which there are at least 3-5 spokes you can go out from. You should just keep branching endlessly from each tangent into another tangent to create an effortless flow. Follow themes.

If you (on rare occasions) exhaust one direction for the conversation, you can always switch gears and go back to another point. eg. "Yeah, but anyway like we were talking about earlier, you're right - it's so hard to find a good sushi place in town." Then you're back on that topic, and taking tangents again from it. Or you can pick up a new direction: "So how do you know ___?"

It's perhaps hard to describe, but when you do it well, it just creates a very natural flow. Mix that up with sharing thoughtful information/knowledge/insight (being generally knowledgeable or interested in a lot of subjects helps), and you have a formula for a great conversation.

A lot of this is admittedly inborn talent. You have to be creative and smart enough to see the different possibilities at each point. You need to have emotional intelligence to be able to recognize what she's into talking about and how to tell stories on each subject that will draw her in. You also need to be capable of mentally multitasking. It's effortless for me now, but when I started learning to do this a decade ago, I used to have to constantly be juggling the active conversation thread while thinking "where can this go next?" So there is a learned aspect as well.

The greatest benefit for me is that if I am in a room with complete strangers, I can have comfortable conversations with everyone in the room. If you were watching but not listening, you would think we all knew each other for a long time. It's nice at parties or in work scenarios. I'm never really uncomfortable around people because I always have something to say and a way to connect.

It doesn't really help me significantly with getting laid, though unfortunately, since my problem is girls don't want to respond to me if I cold approach them. It's no replacement for being actually attractive. And it's rare I'm ever at a party with a single girl I want to fuck. All the decent girls my age are taken.

If anyone wants any other pointers into the subject let me know.
Legit post. All aspies should read this.
 

rigidity

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modified said:
Ascended said:
Any tips you know aside from the usual advice? I'm pretty decent at this but one can always improve..
Why should I help a tall white Chad? Go fuck yourself.

No but really, it's pretty easy I find. There are multiple levels to the technique, but the main initial pointer would be to always think of tangents. Any given topic can go in a myriad of directions. eg. If she says "it's so hot out" or "I love summer!" there are a million directions you can go. Talk about swimming in your cottage on the lake, talk about summer festivals, talk about how you could go for some ice cream right now, talk about being off school, talk about going to the beach, etc.

Look at every point in the conversation as a hub from which there are at least 3-5 spokes you can go out from. You should just keep branching endlessly from each tangent into another tangent to create an effortless flow. Follow themes.

If you (on rare occasions) exhaust one direction for the conversation, you can always switch gears and go back to another point. eg. "Yeah, but anyway like we were talking about earlier, you're right - it's so hard to find a good sushi place in town." Then you're back on that topic, and taking tangents again from it. Or you can pick up a new direction: "So how do you know ___?"

It's perhaps hard to describe, but when you do it well, it just creates a very natural flow. Mix that up with sharing thoughtful information/knowledge/insight (being generally knowledgeable or interested in a lot of subjects helps), and you have a formula for a great conversation.

A lot of this is admittedly inborn talent. You have to be creative and smart enough to see the different possibilities at each point. You need to have emotional intelligence to be able to recognize what she's into talking about and how to tell stories on each subject that will draw her in. You also need to be capable of mentally multitasking. It's effortless for me now, but when I started learning to do this a decade ago, I used to have to constantly be juggling the active conversation thread while thinking "where can this go next?" So there is a learned aspect as well.

The greatest benefit for me is that if I am in a room with complete strangers, I can have comfortable conversations with everyone in the room. If you were watching but not listening, you would think we all knew each other for a long time. It's nice at parties or in work scenarios. I'm never really uncomfortable around people because I always have something to say and a way to connect.

It doesn't really help me significantly with getting laid, though unfortunately, since my problem is girls don't want to respond to me if I cold approach them. It's no replacement for being actually attractive. And it's rare I'm ever at a party with a single girl I want to fuck. All the decent girls my age are taken.

If anyone wants any other pointers into the subject let me know.
DAMN,  SON.   If you aren't paid to do this kind of dissection of conversation and actually have to overtly think like this,  youu might be a bit spergy.

Or you might be a really nice guy that can whisper to aspies.   Those first three paragraphs were like autism whisperer level description.   Either way,  good job.
 
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modified said:
Ascended said:
Any tips you know aside from the usual advice? I'm pretty decent at this but one can always improve..
Why should I help a tall white Chad? Go fuck yourself.

No but really, it's pretty easy I find. There are multiple levels to the technique, but the main initial pointer would be to always think of tangents. Any given topic can go in a myriad of directions. eg. If she says "it's so hot out" or "I love summer!" there are a million directions you can go. Talk about swimming in your cottage on the lake, talk about summer festivals, talk about how you could go for some ice cream right now, talk about being off school, talk about going to the beach, etc.

Look at every point in the conversation as a hub from which there are at least 3-5 spokes you can go out from. You should just keep branching endlessly from each tangent into another tangent to create an effortless flow. Follow themes.

If you (on rare occasions) exhaust one direction for the conversation, you can always switch gears and go back to another point. eg. "Yeah, but anyway like we were talking about earlier, you're right - it's so hard to find a good sushi place in town." Then you're back on that topic, and taking tangents again from it. Or you can pick up a new direction: "So how do you know ___?"

It's perhaps hard to describe, but when you do it well, it just creates a very natural flow. Mix that up with sharing thoughtful information/knowledge/insight (being generally knowledgeable or interested in a lot of subjects helps), and you have a formula for a great conversation.

A lot of this is admittedly inborn talent. You have to be creative and smart enough to see the different possibilities at each point. You need to have emotional intelligence to be able to recognize what she's into talking about and how to tell stories on each subject that will draw her in. You also need to be capable of mentally multitasking. It's effortless for me now, but when I started learning to do this a decade ago, I used to have to constantly be juggling the active conversation thread while thinking "where can this go next?" So there is a learned aspect as well.

The greatest benefit for me is that if I am in a room with complete strangers, I can have comfortable conversations with everyone in the room. If you were watching but not listening, you would think we all knew each other for a long time. It's nice at parties or in work scenarios. I'm never really uncomfortable around people because I always have something to say and a way to connect.

It doesn't really help me significantly with getting laid, though unfortunately, since my problem is girls don't want to respond to me if I cold approach them. It's no replacement for being actually attractive. And it's rare I'm ever at a party with a single girl I want to fuck. All the decent girls my age are taken.

If anyone wants any other pointers into the subject let me know.
I like you :biggrin:

Legit as fuck a must read for socially anxious aspies
 

Lil Flash

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It depends. I really like answering questions and talking to people that are capable of actually being engaging. With the people that I am surrounded by in my current city, they all seem to talk AT me instead of talking to me. A lot of people seem to be like that nowadays. "Talking" to them just consists of you listening to their rambling stories and complaints ad nauseam.
 

rigidity

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Modified,  if you can talk like that (i.e., small talk),  you're like a few non-verbal behaviors away from getting it in.   Try looking directly into chick's eyes as you talk and see if they hold the gaze while looking friendly.   See how friendly girls respond to closer body proximity.  See if they let you touch their hair. 

The attractiveness of the girl you can get will vary,  so I'd try it out with unattractive girls you know are in your league just so you can see for yourself how it works.
 
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