http://www.shybi-guys.com/forum/index.php?s=f51af59e0fa65a1c51034f4ba35fea70&showtopic=18619In light of some recent topics by young fellas who were very concerned about their sexuality, I was inspired to start one of my own only this post is offering a form of comfort that the others so desperately seek. The recurring issue I'm adressing is about going gay. This is an issue that is far more frequent in fluid bisexuals and I too have been faced with the worry, concern and self doubt that comes with it. I have had enough experience now to know that I can stop worrying. If I can, I want to get this attitude across to some of the other guys who worry very much about the same thing.
The first thing to ask yourselves is why did you come to a bisexual website? Very rarely in the time that I post here (admittedly on and off lately) have I come across a set of circumstances where the poster is in fact gay. And if they are, I congratulate them for it as they have a lot of strength and courage to be wired that way. But... you came here because you know on some level you have liked girls and chances are, have been in love, are in love or have had more than your fair share of 'crushes' on members of the oppsosite sex.
When being bi first hit me, I thought to myself holy shit, I'm going gay! It hit me so hard that although there was no feelings for anyone of the same sex, my attraction to the opposite sex was so weak that I didn't know it possible that it could return. And return it did.... to the point that girls became my sole preference again for the next 2 years. Wow! I wrote it off as a phase and went on happliy as I once was. Then as it would unfold, I had another surge of same sex attraction which hit me for a set period of time and I have been 'fluid like', turning both ways so to speak ever since. The whole concept did not seem possible. Yet here I am nearly 6 years later trying to offer some assistance to the guys who will go through the same journey.
The freakiest thing is that when you feel gayer, you feel like your feelings of attraction to girls is not going to come back, don't you? Your brains logic does not take into account the feelings for girls you have felt across your life span or that you have turned back and forth both ways before but rather focuses on the present moment you are in, which feels gay and causes all kinds of self doubt and soul searching.. again! And every time this happens, the self doubt that it could be possible to 'turn all the way' causes your brains logic to believe that this time, you will stay feeling gayer. That is until you reach a point of self awareness...
There will be times where you feel no attraction to the opposite sex... just as there will also be times where you feel no attraction to the same sex. Have no fear for this is all part of the journey as a fluid bisexual. I am led to believe that it makes it harder to find a partner because I have really struggled doing so but that does not mean you can't enjoy yourself.
I think the most important thing is self acceptance because really, what does it matter if someone thinks you are gay? Once you know yourself well enough you learn not to care about this as much as you once did because you know who you are yourself and that is all you really need.
Hopefully this helps one or two people with where they are at the moment...