- Jun 29, 2015
I have acne since 13, I'm 21 now. So for 8 years I just sit on my bed everyday, and think... why me? All of the guys in my school had clear skin. Being 1 out of 300 with severe acne hurts, guh, it's life destroying. All of the people I pass by on the streets have clear skin. People don't understand how blessed they are when they have acne free skin.
Yes, I can relate to everything you wrote, especially the "but it's impossible to be happy when you're in so much mental pain. I don't want to live" part. Girls don't even look at you, even though you are probably the best person ever, and you are the best person ever.. because of acne. But who the fuck cares about you being good, if it's so unfair? I often ask myself, why don't "bad" people get acne, like those one who bully people WITH acne.
No to parties because there are people with clear skin that are more attractive, no social events because you feel bad, knowing that you are the only person with such sking, no spending time with you friends, because you just don't want people too see you, and finally no girlfriends, because who the fuck wants a person with acne when they can choose from 2913419919 with clear skin.
All I can say to people that ask me "WHY ARE YOU SO NEGATIVE" is "let's swap faces for 1 year, you will understand"
And to fucking sum it up, acne made me an atheist. Why? Because when all topicals/antibiotics failed, I just prayed. Like everyday, for a long time. And things got even worse. And that's when i lost all my courage and didin't even want to be "good anymore".
I stopped feeling sad like 3 years ago. From there, I feel nothing. No hapiness, hatred, 0 emotions. Those 3 years passed super fast for me, because I'm not living my life, it's like an auto-pilot for me: wake up, go to uni, eat, play some games, read some books, sleep, repeat 365x a year
Totally fair. High five God, well done. Born more Stalins and Hitlers instead. And thanks for good genes mum and dad.
On my birthday I just count in how many years i will die, no for how long I've been living.
But in the end, it will be better, so stay strong. And thanks for your post, I kinda feel relieved